Losing Everything
by Miami Blackheart
Summary: AU. Suze is the most eligible girl in school. So why aren't boys flocking to ask her out? But with a few shoves, dares, alcohol, and drugs, it just might help her realize that losing everything to one guy is the only thing she'll ever need. T to be safe.
1. 1 Funny Girl

**Hey guys! How's everybody been doing?**

**Well, first off, I'll start on a sad note. My other fic, ****Choices****, is going to be put on hold right now. I'm really, really sorry! But it's just temporary. I just seem to have lost my mojo for that one. I'll try to post a.s.a.p. when I make a new chapter so please don't hate me. Pretty please.**

**And secondly, I want to thank everyone who read, reviewed, or both to my one-shot, ****I'm Sorry****. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! Mwah!**

**Okay, lastly, I made another fic! And you're about to read it in a few more seconds! Yay! Hopefully I'll finish this one (*crosses fingers*). It's going to be a different take on my OTP – Jesse/Suze – since it's an AU. Hahaha.**

**So, anyway! I'm now presenting to you…**

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**Losing Everything**

_AU. Suze Simon is popular, beautiful, and with a personality to boot. Perfect, right? Well, there's just one problem in the picture: she still doesn't have a boyfriend. But, one person just might be perfect for that role. The new guy, Jesse de Silva. With the help of a few shoves, dares, alcohol, and drugs, it just might help them realize that losing everything to each other is probably the only thing they'll ever need._

1 Funny Girl.

"Oh my God."

"What?" I asked Kelly Prescott as I plopped down next to her on the sand.

"Eww, Suze, you just got seawater on my fish tacos!" The brunette girl sitting on the next beach towel on my other side exclaimed while flicking some sand off her food.

"Oh," I said, glancing at the girl, "sorry, Debs. Don't worry though, that fish in your taco used to live in the seawater so all's good."

"Smartass."

"You betcha," I chuckled lightly before turning back to the blond girl I was talking to earlier, "So, Kels, what's the reason you used the name of God in vain this time?"

"Jake."

I rolled my eyes as she said the name. Great, here we go again about Jake Ackerman.

"What?" Kelly asked, turning her blue-eyed gaze to me, "He's hot."

Oh, did I just say the last part out loud?

"Yeah," Debbie Mancuso piped in, looking all dreamily as she stared at the boys coming out from the water, "Brad too."

I rolled my eyes again. Obviously these girls haven't seen my stepbrothers eat. It's like I was sitting with a pair of overgrown, starving crocodiles during mealtimes. Before I could even be through with half of my plate, they were already on their second or third helpings. Seriously. It's like they don't even chew. Just swallow and swallow and swallow…

It's disgusting.

"Okay, first off, yuck," I told them as I stood up, wriggling out of my now-soaked oversized T-shirt, revealing the black vinyl bikini I wore underneath. Apparently some of the boys in our class thought it'd be fun to pick me to be their next victim in their stupid Throw-A-Girl-In-The-Water game. _Boys_ and their childish games, "and second, change topic please. I am so over this conversation."

"You just don't see it, Suze," Kelly told me, "they are totally hot for their own good."

"But since you live in the same house," Debbie added, "I guess it's okay you don't see them in _that_ way because then, we might have a problem."

"Now _that_," I said as I slipped on my Donna Karan sunglasses and reclaimed my spot in between the two girls, "is really disturbing. Incest doesn't work for me, if you wanna know. But hey, if you want to get freaky with my knucklehead stepbrothers, be my guest. I just don't see why you're wasting your time anyway."

That shut them up. Finally.

I really don't see why would anyone like my stepbrothers. Jake, the oldest, just seemed to be out of it most of the time. With his night shifts delivering 'zas from the Peninsula Pizza, I find it a miracle that he's gonna graduate high school this year. And not once was he held back. Amazing, I know.

And the second, Brad, who's just a few weeks older than me actually, is just this lumbering lump of muscle of the Mission Academy wrestling team. Don't even ask about his brain. I personally think that it atrophied after all those moves they do in the game. He even almost flunked English last year. English, his native language! Can you believe that?

But the youngest of all my stepbrothers, David, is probably the smartest out of all of us, me included. And he's only in middle school! But he's got an IQ of 180 or something. Nerdy, I know. But the kids cool though, if you're willing to sit through his talks of How Things Came To Be.

These three stepbrothers of mine was what I got when my mom remarried Andy Ackerman, local TV show host of Carmel-By-The-Sea, California. When my dad died from a heart attack when I was six years old, it was just me and my mom for ten years. And then along came Andy, who lost his wife due to cancer a few years back, they socialized, they married, and then bam! I was to transfer from New York to sunny California to complete the whole family. Oh joy.

Not.

Well, at first, that is.

Back in New York, I had one best friend… okay, _one_ friend. Gina Augustin. People in school thought that I was kind of weird and scary for some reason. But Gina was the only one that stuck by me. And it sucked that I had to leave her when I transferred to the West Coast. But amazingly enough, in Mission Academy, Kelly Prescott and Debbie Mancuso, the two It girls of the school, welcomed me into their circle. The popular circle. Which, by extension, meant that I was now popular too.

Me.

Susannah Simon.

Popular.

And vice president of the senior class.

Yeah.

Gina had a fit when I told her too.

Honestly, being with the popular crowd was just as amazing as I always thought it to be. The parties, the boys, the perks, the clothes, the boys… Oh yeah, the boys.

And yet, I still haven't ever had a boyfriend.

Not that there aren't any trying to be. There are. It's just that they're so… what's the word?… boring and so not my type. I just put it that I haven't found the right guy yet.

And it's not even a question about my looks. I find my self, as well as Kelly, Debbie and a couple of guys saying so, quite pretty. With my chestnut brown hair, bright green eyes, amazing make-up and fashion sense, I look great.

Sorry, but being in the popular crowd surely inflated my ego.

But still zilch in the boyfriend department. And all that entails in that area. You know what I mean. I haven't even had my first kiss yet!

Maybe I was just kidding myself. Maybe the boys here also thought that I was weird and scary too, like the boys back in New York.

I mean, I would too. Find myself weird and scary, that is. With the things I've done and behaved in the past, no wonder boys aren't piling around the house asking me out. No, back in the Big Apple maybe. But not here.

No one in California knows my secret.

No one here knows that I can talk to the dead.

And I'm not even joking. Seriously. I've been able to see and talk to the dead ever since I could remember. But it wasn't until my Dad died and he came back as a ghost that I got to know what I really was – a mediator. A guide to help the lost souls cross over to the other side. Or something.

But I try not to use this "gift" as much as possible. In fact, I try to avoid situations that would make me come in contact with ghosts. See a ghost in the hallway? Fine, I'll go around. Oh, there's another ghost there? Fine, Plan B then. Duck and avoid eye contact. The latter is usually almost always foolproof.

But then there are also some ghosts who actually go to my room in the wee hours in the morning and wake the hell out of me so that I could help them. Considerate, or what? I don't even know how they know I'm a mediator. Or even where to find me. It's not like the ghosts go around house to house and scream their heads off and find out who's going to wake up. Well, at least, I think they don't.

It's cases like that in which I have to help. Not for their sake but mine. And if I want to get a good night's sleep again. I tried ignoring them once, oh boy, was that a huge mistake. Not only did I have to go on 5 days without so much as an hour of sleep at night, I also had to come to my room completely trashed.

And they don't even pay me a single stinking cent! And the unfinished things they want me to do? Yeah, not really a piece of cake. Like the most recent ghost I had to mediate, she wanted me to take her knitting needles, or whatever they're called, and give them to her niece who lived on the other side of Carmel. And that's just an example of the peaceful ones that I get. Which, if you want to know, rarely happens in my case.

Most of the times I get psycho nutjobs who doesn't realize or care that the mediator they're seeking help from is actually a seventeen year old girl. And when they get violent? Ugh, the worst. I've had bruises, cuts, and fractures and trips downtown to the police station or the hospital that could last me a lifetime already. Try explaining that to anyone, especially my poor mother who probably only wanted a normal girl but got me instead. But then I guess that lately, she's happy that I'm finally fitting in with the "in" crowd, like she did back when she was my age.

Then again, she wasn't the schmuck that had to deal with ghosts.

"Oh look," Kelly suddenly drawled, "it's Whitester and FagTavish."

Debbie and I craned our necks and saw that a few meters away from where we were, this albino girl – CeeCee Webb, I think was her name – and a boy – Adam McTavish, I _think_ – were setting up their place on the sand. They were also from our class, I knew. I had nothing against them but since _Kelly_ thought they weren't worthy enough of her recognition, I haven't really spent that much time around them. But I guess they were okay though. If ever I had the chance to chat with them, I will, screw what Kelly Prescott thinks. She's not the boss of me.

Debbie let out a guffaw. She repeated, "FagTavish, that's hilarious."

"Oh, come on," I said, ignoring Debbie, "that's rude."

"Who cares?" Kelly stared at me with her steely-blue gaze, as if she was sending me a message that said, "shut it".

Before I could retort with something witty, Debbie suddenly cried out, "Oh look!"

Both Kelly and I turned our attention to Rick, the hottie lifeguard, after raising the yellow flag – which urged beachgoers to take caution in the water – jumped catlike from his tower and dove gracefully into the water to save some kid screaming at the top of his lungs.

I took off my DK's to have a better look at the victim, which also seemed to have caught the attention of all the beachgoers in the vicinity, and to my utter amusement, it was actually Brad. He was screaming like a girl as the lifeguard swam to him and dragged him to shore. There was, adding to my fun, this whitish mass of a jellyfish that was clinging to the side of his leg.

I don't know if it was because I was a mediator and my senses were a bit sharper or something else, but it was only when my stepbrother was being dragged to the shoreline that my two companions realized who the unsightly victim was. To which they both said, "Oh my God, Brad!" at the same time and took off to their "hottie"-in-distress.

Putting back my sunglasses on, I stood up and went to where my bestfriends were, making sure I was taking my time. A smirk crept to my face as I couldn't help but mumble to myself, "Now _that_ is what I call hilarious."

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**Okay, I know the first chapter is all about intro and stuff but I'd really like to know what you think about it. Like it? Hate it? Let me know!**

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**I'll post the next chapter soon. I promise.**

'**Til next time,**

**Danni.**


	2. 2 Don't Tell Me What To Do

**Hey hey hey!**

**I'll just post another chapter to get the story going. A bit.  
**

**Okay, just a sidetrack moment for a sec. To all those who watch Glee, is there anyone out there who ships Mike/Brittany? They're such a cute couple if given the chance! What do you guys think? :)**

**Haha, sorry for that. So anyway, read on for Chapter 2! Enjoy!**

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**2 No One Tells Me What To Do

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I groped around for my alarm clock and shut it. Why does it have to be so goddamn noisy?

Still a bit bleary-eyed, I trudged over to the bay window and wrenched the pink curtains apart to let the sunlight come in. I pride myself in saying that my window had the best view in the house. On one side, it had this amazing view of the town and a bit farther off, was the ocean that I love. And on the other side was looking into a window of this huge house. But it hasn't been inhabited ever since I've been here so all's good even if I was wearing a midriff baring and undies to sleep. Nobody would see me anyway given that I was on the second floor.

But if someone were to occupy the next house, I guess I would have to stop opening the curtains while I was dressed like this. Or… barely dressed like this.

My musings were interrupted by the sudden blaring of Ke$ha's song Boots and Boys coming from my iPhone. Yes, I had a cell phone. Any seventeen year old who went to my school, I noticed, who didn't have one was automatically considered a loser. Luckily I got one as a welcoming present a year ago.

I grabbed my phone and stared at the screen. _Kelly calling…_ I actually knew that it was Kelly because of the song Boots and Boys – things she was very interested in. Not that Debbie and I weren't interested in those things too but it was just an inside joke between the three of us. And one drunken night ago.

"Hey, Kels," I said, answering the call.

"Suuuuze!" she screamed into my ear. "It's first day of class! We're freaking seniors!"

Only she didn't say freaking. Huh, obscenities so early in the morning. Kelly is having a great day.

"I know!" I laughed. What can I say? Her excitement is contagious. "Okay, so, uh, why'dya call, Kels?" I said to the phone while opening my closet, "'Coz I'm kinda busy right now–"

"Don't tell me, you're humping someone right now, are you?"

"Kelly!" I felt myself go red. Which was stupid, you know, since no one could see it.

"Oh don't be such a prude, Suze," her tinkling laughter reverberated from the earpiece, "it _so_ doesn't become you."

"Well, thanks for the compliment. It's not everyday my sexual connotation is bashed," I replied to her, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Picking out my first-day-back-to-school outfit, black Club Monaco above-the-knee capris paired with a dark green Betsey Johnson silk sweater set and my black Jimmy Choo booties – thank God Mom finally gave me money to renew my wardrobe! – I said to the phone, "So, Kels, _as I was saying_, I'm gonna prepare now because I don't wanna miss my ride on the first day of school. Anything else before I hang up?"

"Yes, we are _so _gonna devirginize you this year! Just you wait," I could hear some laughter and some shuffling in the background before my bestfriend continued, "And, uh, yeah, don't worry about your ride, Debs and I are gonna pick you up in like, uhh… 30 minutes."

I rolled my eyes at the first comment. That's what she said before Spring Break _and_ before summer, and yet my virtue still remains intact. Go me. But on the latter comment, my right eyebrow raised even though no one could still see it as I was placing my things in the bathroom, "Okay, I'm sounding inconsiderate here, but you don't usually pick me up in the morning so what gives?"

"Because… Daddy just bought me a new car!" She shrieked in my ear, like _duh_. Like it was everyday her dad gives her cars as a present. Well, great for her. "And… I want my bitches to be with me as I drive it to school today!"

Ah, so that was the good mood about.

"Fine," I sighed, stripping and stepping into the bathtub, "See you in 30. Hanging up now!"

With a beep, I set my phone on the counter and turned on the shower letting the hot water soak me.

"Hey, Suze," Scott, one of Brad's friends, said to me as he put an arm around my shoulder while we were walking in the hallway. A gesture, I noticed, that he usually does to all the females in our group when he has the chance. Nothing romantic or perverted though. Well, at least I think it's not. Though I'm not totally against it. Who doesn't mind having an arm candy once in a while? Especially someone as good looking as Scott. "You look flickin' today."

Flickin'? Seriously?

But before I could retort with a smart comment, Kelly grabbed my hand and pulled. A couple of people said "Hey, Suze" as we passed. Some, I didn't even know their names. I also happened to notice that many of them said nothing to Kelly. Weird, or what? When we were out of earshot, at least, away from the guy, Kelly said to me, "When I said you were to be devirginized this year, I didn't mean that you should do it with the next person who puts his arms around you. Especially not with Scott Turner."

I wrestled my hand from hers and faced Kelly, "Okay, stop with the "devirginizing me" plan already! And, I know that Scott Turner is off limits because he's yours. Or, I still think he is."

Kelly, picking off some unseen lint from the cuff of her blue Dolce and Gabbana sweater, let out a small snort, "Oh, _please_, if I could find someone to replace him, he's out like that," she snapped her fingers to prove her point, "Scott is nothing but arm candy."

Touché.

When Debbie walked over to us coming from God knows where, we went to my locker which was just next to our classroom. The two of them were discussing some party details about Kelly's Back-To-School party this Friday while I was taking out some of my books from my locker.

Another party. Really. Kelly just seems to want to find any excuse to throw some kind of party. Pre-Spring Break, Post-Spring Break, Pre-Summer, Post-Summer, Back-To-School, you get the idea. And her parents let her have all the free reign to everything. Not that I'm complaining. As long as there's alcohol, who could say no to that?

We took our usual seats in the classroom as last year. My seat was near the window that had this amazing view of the ocean. I sighed, Class hasn't even started yet and I already want to go to the beach.

Mr. Walden, who still appeared to be our homeroom adviser, was shuffling some papers and arranging his desk so I pulled out my iPhone and read the new text from my other bestfriend, Gina.

_Dude! Wassup? I hv d gr8est news!_

I smiled. God, how I miss her. I punched in my reply, _Nothing much. U? wat news? _ and pressed Send.

Just as I sent my message, Mr. Walden began to talk in his deep, breathy voice, "Class, welcome back to another year. Congratulations, it's your senior year so by this time next year you're all going to be in college…"

Blah blah blah…

_I'm coming ovr! _was Gina's reply. I almost dropped my phone in surprise.

_OMG! Wen?_

"… so Father Dominic was asking for assistance…"

_Thnksgvng break! Amazing or wat? Dude, now u can 2taly bring me 2 those parties u talk about!_

"… originally I was going to ask for Ms. Prescott or a volunteer…"

_OMG! Dats so cool! We cud party ol day f u wanna wen ur here! _I texted back to Gina, grinning as wide as my mouth could let me. This was so great! Gina coming over for Thanksgiving? We so have to make plans when she's here. Or I could give Kelly another reason to plan a huge party…

"… or we could let Ms. Simon do it because clearly she is not paying any attention."

_Gr8! Txt u l8r dude. Class tym. :D_

I was just reading Gina's last text, and looking like a grinning idiot at the same time, when Rob Kelleher, another one of Brad's friends, and the guy sitting behind me, kicked my leg under the chair.

"The hell?" I snapped at him. Rob stared at me, wide-eyed and then shrugged. As if he just hit me in the leg for nothing.

"Suze," I heard Debbie mutter beside me, keeping her eyes forward, "Mr. Walden just called for you."

"Oh," I mumbled and then stared forward, put on a charming smile and said, "Yes, Mr. Walden?"

"Thank you for granting us your _undivided_ attention, Ms. Simon," a couple of sniggers filled the room but I ignored them. Big deal, "Father Dominic requires assistance in his office and since you have kindly _volunteered _your help, you can go now."

Whatever. Another round of snickers with some _oohs _and _aahs_ floated from the room as I went out. Chickens. It wasn't like the old guy would need assistance for something that someone like me, a mediator who deals with violent and murderous ghosts frequently, couldn't handle.

But just as I entered the principal's office, to which I was greeted a good morning by the secretary, I noticed a mid-twenties, blond-haired girl, looking around. Which, you know, isn't supposed to be that all weird given that this school was also a tourist spot. But no, this girl was different because she was dead.

Ho freaking ho.

It was only about a millisecond that we made eye contact before I set my eyes on Father D's door and marched up to it. But it was enough to make ghost girl to realize that I could actually see her.

I felt her approach. She got to me just before I got to the door. She said, "You can see me, can't you?"

To which I deliberately ignored her as I stepped into the priest's office.

"You called, Father Dom?" I said before realizing that there was also someone else in the room. I had to do a double take at the guy. He was sure one hottie extraordinaire. He had this tanned-almost-olive skin, crisp looking black hair, and an amazing physique from what I can tell from the doorway.

"Ah, Miss Simon, please sit," Father D gestured at the seat opposite the hottie. "Jesse, this is Susannah Simon, vice president of the senior class. Susannah, this is Hector de Silva, otherwise known as Jesse. He's a transfer student."

"Hey," I gave him a small wave. Hector, "otherwise known as Jesse", smiled at me, revealing a bright set of pearly whites that contrasted beautifully with his complexion. Wait a minute. Beautiful? I hardly knew the guy and yet I was comparing what and what doesn't work for his skin tone.

"This is great that you volunteered, Susannah," more like forced to but I decided not to say that. Father D turned to Jesse and spoke, "Susannah was also a transfer student last year. I guess you two have something in common..."

Blah blah blah. I tried my ultimate best not to roll my eyes. I swear. In fact, I was just about to when the priest turned to me and said, "Susannah, you'll be the designated guide for Mr. de Silva here for a few days."

I almost fell out of my chair, "_What_?" This was _so_ not what I needed right now. I stood up and faced the priest, "Look, Father D, sorry to burst your bubble but the school isn't that big. He," I threw a sideward glance at the guy who was watching me curiously with deep brown eyes, "can manage fine without me."

Okay, sorry for my anger suddenly flaring up and that I'm being a bitch to the old man and the new guy. But the situation just really got on my nerve. I mean, _come on_, when I transferred here last year, no one went out of _their _way to guide me around school and tell me, "oh, that's the science lab, and that's the bathroom but don't go there. It's haunted by a ghost." I had to find it all on my own. Well, before Kelly and Debbie took me in, that is. Though they didn't really help in the ghost department much.

But anyway, why was it so different with this guy? Why did he need a guide? He wasn't blind or handicapped or anything. So why? Because he had money? Since judging from his clothes you could tell that he did. If that were so, then that'd be totally unfair. Talk about discrimination.

"Susannah!" Father Dom raised his voice at me. Which, you know, is really something because I haven't ever seen or heard him do that before to anyone. "Sit down and apologize."

"_What for_?" I shot back at him. My eyes narrowed at him as I was getting seriously fed up, "I didn't do anything wrong."

You could totally tell that the priest was getting angry too but he was just controlling it. But his face going redder by the second and a vein pulsating in his temple were a dead giveaway. "Sit. Please."

I glared at him for a few more seconds before I sat down.

"Susannah," Father D said, exasperatedly, "Jesse has had a rough time so please be nice to him. And apologize. Please." Whoa, even in anger he was still polite. _Priests_.

I stared at Father Dom like he just sprouted two heads. He's seriously not talking to me about a rough time, is he? Try being a mediator and _rough time_ will be your middle name. I gritted my teeth, "No way."

He was almost purple now. "Do you _want_ detention on your first day back, Ms. Simon?"

I rolled my eyes. Okay, so apparently no getting out of this one. "Fine," I mumbled as I glanced to Jesse out of the corner of my eye, "Sorry for my brash, uncalled-for, and discourteous attitude. I'm PMSing right now but, I doubt any of you would understand that."

A blatant lie, I know. Given that my period ended just last week.

"I guess that's as much as an apology we could get from her," Father Dom sighed, explaining to the new guy. He handed me a piece of paper and said, "This is Jesse's class schedule, Susannah. And now that we're done here, both of you could return to class. I hope you two would get along well."

Riiight, I almost snorted. For the record, I still didn't like the idea of having a guy trailing behind me as I go around school for the next couple of days. Even if that guy just happens to be as good-looking as Jesse.

But just as I was about to grab the paper, it was wrenched from the priest's grasp and floated up the air and got stuck at the ceiling, defying all laws of gravity given the lack of an updraft.

"You can see me!" a shrill voice behind me suddenly screamed, "Don't bother denying it! _I saw you_!"

What the–? Oh right. The ghost girl from outside. _How_, I wondered despite everything, am I ever going to explain the paper getting stuck on the ceiling?

_Great_. Like I didn't have enough on my plate right now.

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**Okay, I know, it's still in the intro stuff a bit. But Jesse's already in this chappie! Hahaha!**

**Don't forget to review! Please? Thanks!**

**- Danni**


	3. 3 Guilt Trip

**Hey guys.**

**Okay, I don't really know why there aren't that much of reviews (but _THANK YOU_ so much to LilasRose and ilovebellasuzepotter for giving some!). Is the story bad, or boring, or something? I don't know. :(**

**Please tell me. Please? It'll really help.**

**So anyway, here's chappie 3! :D**

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**3 Guilt Trip

"Whoa," I said, looking up at the paper still stuck at the ceiling and feigned amazement, "now _that_ is a Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

And then, all of the sudden, ghost girl reached out behind me and grabbed my wrist, almost crushing it.

"OW!" I cried out, and reacted by flicking her hand away. And then she dematerialized for all she's worth. Stupid ghost. My other hand reached up and massaged my wrist. Oh, she was _so_ gonna get it. I didn't realize that Father D and Jesse were eyeing me with a sort of shocked expression until I looked at them. "Sorry," I muttered under my breath, "just had a crick. No biggie."

Okay, calm down, Suze. God, the things I do to keep myself from being shipped off to the loony bin.

"Well," Father D cleared his throat. "As I was saying," he handed me hall passes and the paper that flew out of his hands just moments ago. I didn't even realize it had fallen back already, "off you go now."

I grabbed the stuff and got out of there. Where was that ghost? I have a bone to pick with her.

"Susannah," I heard a voice behind me say but I ignored it. No surprise there.

My eyes darted in all directions as I walked. She had to be here somewhere. You know, normally, I was quite calm with ghosts. Just don't let them touch me and put me in a situation where I almost expose what a freak I really am. Because, then, they are so gonna wish they were never born.

"Susannah."

And who the hell was calling me? Didn't they get the point that I was busy and I was ignoring them?

"Susannah, wait."

"_What_?" I cried out, turning around. And then I saw that it was actually the new guy, Jesse, who was calling me. He was walking towards me, his eyebrows knitted at the center. "Oh," I said, looking down, feeling a bit embarrassed at how I acted just now, "it's you."

"I'm sorry." He told me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. God, he was tall. Like almost a head taller than me. And he had quite a handsome face, really. From his glossy jet black hair and eyebrows, to his thickly lashed deep brown eyes, to his strong set jaw, and to his gorgeous mouth that was on the thin-but-wide side. He could be a model. Okay, maybe he was but who knows?

And what was _he_ sorry about? _He _didn't do anything wrong. And just like that, I found that all my anger was slipping away like water through my hand. And I was just looking at him! What's that about?

"I'm not," I said, crossing my arms against my chest, "mad at you."

"But you're mad at something." He said, stepping closer and placing a hand on my arm, "I know that you probably have better things to do than lugging me around school like some kid. And I'm sorry that you had to be dragged into this. Believe me, I told them I didn't need someone to help me. I could manage on my own. So if you don't want to do this, it's fine by me. I won't hold it against you, Susannah."

Was this guy actually serious?

I stared at his hand. They were big, warm, and brown. Perfect for, if you think about it, running along my body. Holy cow… _what am I thinking_? Impure thoughts alert, Suze! I wrenched myself from his grasp and glared at him. My anger creeping back again. This time, directed to myself more than anyone else.

"Okay, one," I told Jesse, "no touching. And two, it's Suze not Susannah. A–"

"Why?" He asked. God, this was so frustrating. "Susannah is a beautiful name. I like it."

I decided to ignore that. Though I could feel my face heat up. No one has ever said that before. That was sweet. Right, moving on, Suze. I cleared my throat, "Okay, as I was saying, it's _Suze_. And three, I don't really care what you will or will not hold against me. I don't give a damn. I'll do what I do and if you want to tag along, that's your choice. Got that?"

He nodded but there was this amused expression on his face.

Why, in God's name, did he have to be so freakingly hot and so annoying at the same time?

I turned around and walked across the courtyard. When I got to the hallway, I paused to look at Jesse's schedule. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that he only began to move from where we stopped just a moment ago. I told him, "English is this way. And hurry up or we'll be late."

And sure enough, we were. Late, I mean. Mrs. Taylor was already giving her lecture when I entered the room and handed her the hall passes. Leaving Jesse to fend for himself when he entered the classroom, I went and took my seat in between Kelly and Debbie.

The whole class watched as Jesse handed a letter to the teacher and left to sit at the empty seat at the front row without so much as a blink or a mumble.

And then the whole class erupted in an excited buzz. I knew what that hubbub was about. I got it on my first day here too. And let me tell you, it's not a nice feeling to know that people were talking about you behind your back.

All of the sudden, I felt sorry at how I acted towards Jesse.

Kelly turned her honey-colored head towards me and whispered, "Okay, Suze, give us the deets."

"Yeah," Debbie whispered on my other side. "Who's the hottie?"

Great. Now _I _was joining in this too. Didn't I just say that I didn't like the who's-the-new-student buzz? Guilt was making me feel sick. I sank lower into my seat, wishing I'd just disappear at that moment. As if that'd erase what a hypocrite I was.

"That's Jesse. He's our new classmate."

"And?" they both wanted to know.

"Father D wants me to be his guide. Help him out for the next few days. But… I kinda blew him off."

"You did _what_?"

"Hello, earth to Suze, did you hit your head or something? Why did you blow off a hottie like _that_?"

I sank lower into my seat. This was so not helping.

"And you didn't even bother to get to know him even just a _little bit_ on the way here?" Kelly asked. Her eyebrows were raised as she looked down at me, "That's _all_ you know? _His name_?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Jesus, Suze," Kelly sighed as she settled back in her seat, "no wonder why you haven't been kissed yet."

_Thanks Kels_, I wanted to say to her, _thanks a lot_.

But seriously, this got to me. Well, my conscience did.

Twice, I glanced in his direction, you know, to check if he was doing fine. Okay, three times. Four… six times… once every five minutes. Okay, enough, already! I admit, once every three minutes. All throughout the morning subjects.

That's how worked up I was with guilt.

Why did I have to be such a bitch to him anyway? I mean, like I said before, he didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't his fault that I was sent to the principal's office to be his designated tour guide. It could've been anyone really. But because of my own inattentiveness, I was that schmuck. He even said he didn't need help. But they wouldn't listen to him. So no, I had nothing against him. He was just probably looking for a friend in this new environment. I had no reason to be so mean to him. He was just the new guy…

Remember what being new felt like? Yeah, alone and out of place.

I had to set things right.

Damn me and my conscience.

I couldn't sit still and stop fidgeting during lunch. I wasn't even listening to Brad and his group bragging to my friends what they did during summer. I didn't care. All that was running through my mind was that where the hell was Jesse? That I needed to apologize to him. Make everything okay.

And then there he was.

He sat down next to that boy, Adam McTavish. They were surrounded by a group of girls. Many of which – I realized that I didn't really know most of their names mainly because I haven't actually mingled with them – sorry to say, weren't really that much of a looker. A motley bunch. Some were acned, some overweight, some way, way too skinny, too tall or too short, or just plainly a fashion victim. They were, I grasped, that albino girl's posse. Members of the school paper, _Mission News_. And true enough, I found the albino, CeeCee, sitting across Jesse. They all looked like they were going to pass out any moment as they couldn't believe someone as good-looking as Jesse would deign them with his presence, much less,

speak to them.

I found this quite amusing.

Okay, what was I waiting for?

I swiped some lip gloss over my lips and ran a hand through my hair, shaking it a little. Standing up, I pulled on my top, giving my self a once-over. If I had to do this, I wanted everything to my advantage. And take note of this, people, a little lip gloss can go a long way. Believe me.

As I strutted across the schoolyard, a couple of people stopped talking and looked up. Oh, I had an audience. _Great._ Not. It's not like it's going to be interesting anyway. But one thing I was sure though, everyone back at the table I just left was watching me closely, I could feel their gaze on my back.

Jesse and the others didn't even know what was going on. The first reaction though, that gave me away, was when CeeCee looked up and her mouth literally dropped. Some of her friends also followed her reaction when they saw that I was really actually going to their table. Funny. Jesse, finally realizing that something was up, turned around just as I got to him.

"Susannah?" he asked me. As if unsure that I was actually there.

"Jesse, can I talk to you?" I told him, staring deeply into his dark eyes. He was still sitting down so I was looking down at him. "_Alone_."

"Why would _he_ talk to _you_?" a girl, probably the better looking out of all of them, standing on the other side of the table blurted out. Her hand flew up to her mouth. Like she couldn't believe she just said that.

_Excusez-moi? _I raised an eyebrow at her, refusing to answer her question. She slowly backed away and hid behind this fairly overweight girl who suddenly looked scared that she was made a shield against me. As if I'd be throwing daggers any minute. _Cool_, I thought, I didn't know I had this effect on people.

I sighed.

"Okay, _fine_," I said, looking back to Jesse, "I'm sorry I was rude and mean earlier. I didn't mean to, believe me. I just had a lot of things going on and I took it out on you. That was wrong of me. And you have _nothing_ to apologize for, Jesse. _You_ did nothing wrong. _I_ did and I'm sorry."

At first, Jesse didn't say anything. No one seemed to move at that moment. And then after what seemed an eternity, he stood up and smiled at me. A genuine, heart-warming smile. He said in a soft voice only I could hear, "You didn't have to do that, Susannah."

Now I had to look up to him. His eyes were so entrancingly beautiful. "But I had to."

"Well then, thank you, Susannah." His eyes darted to glance at my mouth for a second before returning to my eyes. And strangely enough, it sent my heart into a backflip.

What was wrong with me?

I gave him a smile before turning around and started to walk away. But then I remembered something, "Oh yeah," I turned back to face him and said, "some of us are going down to the beach later. You know, soak up some sun before fall makes it too cold. Wanna come?"

Jesse let out a soft chuckle. "Sure, I'll see you there."

"Okay, great. Later," I told him and walked back to my table. Kelly, I saw, was watching me with a proud expression on her face.

And then I heard Adam saying in a low voice, thinking that I was out of hearing distance, "Looks like you still got a shot."

But shot to what or to whom he said it, I didn't know.

And I didn't care.

* * *

**So, that was it.**

**Hope you liked it. :)**

**Reviews would be nice and appreciated!**

**- Danni  
**


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